After reading exprerimental, gay, Beat, love poems for a while at my favorite local used bookstore, I had a dream the man I am staying with approached me and said, "I bought some gay porn" and then we made powerful love. I wish people weren't so weird about sexuality. There is a poll on the main LJ page today that asks if people have "messed around on a first date." 40% (354) said yes & 60% (527) said no. I guess I was surprised. What are the demographics of this website? Lots of Russians, right? The poems I was reading were experiments, not really poems. Some were not poems at all, but dialogue, transcripts. One man would be typing on a typewriter while he got a HJ, noting everything that was said aloud as well as his own thoughts while he was aroused. It was funny, he kept saying in his head that he wanted to ask for a BJ, but he didn't want to have to ask b/c that was sexier, then he was like "Okay, I'm going to ask." haha! Some of these experiments were "failures" and ended up just being discussions. I seriously can't imagine balancing a typewriter while doin it, but even more so, I cannot imagine having a partner up for such things. I hope I can find one. Some men are so freaked out when I laugh during sex. "What? What's funny? What are you laughing at?" as their boner shrinks. "I'm just having a good time! I laugh when I'm happy." They don't get it. I've cried a little during passionate bouts of sexual synchronization. The other parties that witnessed it were not freaked out, just chuckled at me and my weirdo Joy ways. But when I have told males about it, they are like "Whoah, I don't think that would fly with me," like they would be turned off. Whatever. I want weepy, crybaby sex, that makes you feel silly and out of control and emotionally unstable, when your body has no idea how to cope with all the rushing good touches and vibes so you start to cry a little and you clutch them closer, pretending your skin will begin to mesh together.