get me out of here.
i have too many things to feel today, a lonely exhaustion of the mind.
where to, gumshoe?
a veritable grab bag of emotions and desires. i think i filtered too much digital information today.
i feel like in order to make things work for me, i have to break something. really? is that really what you think? i dont even know! i'm tired of feeling abstract.
and eating, i honestly dont want to eat any more.
maybe im just dehydro.
i took nyc off my blacklist. the things i want, i can achieve anywhere, even there.
i've always wanted someone to fall in love with my handwriting.
i want to be left alone, but i go really bizzerk without social interaction. maybe this is why i'm here, on the internet. sweating over everything. health, friendship, money, addictions, the future, my potential, delusions, and how to.
and how much information do i already have in my heart?
i hate tuesdays. i guess everyone does and that is why there are so many drink specials on that day. i do not want to go to bars any more as a form of entertainment. sorry to all my bartender friends. i will drink at a bar if there is an event at a bar and i will drink at private residences, but i dont want to go there for lack of anything better to do.
when feels like never sometimes.
and i still feel like nothing has been said that i truly feel.

i had a dream last night that i forgot to go to math class all senior year long. i wasn't going to get to graduate high school! i read recently that ppl never grow out of these school stress dreams. regardless, my dreams are nerdy.

poor cavan: http://cavan-delacroix.livejournal.com/38001.html i have a great collection of photos on display at my apt of him.

being alone is weird. i really dislike it, but find it very interesting. everything gets done 5 times as fast and i shower about 2 times a week. sleep becomes something strange. i woke up suddenly completely wide awake at 3AM on my bed sideways with the lamp on. what happened? do i want to sleep more? am i home alone? should i let the cats in?

every day is so long to me. i guess it's the summer. today the sun is scheduled to set at 8:01PM. my apartment is really hot too.

i keep thinking about spending coins. i want to go to a casino or a coke machine or an arcade. the feeling of the coin taking once you've inserted it into the slot -clink- is so satisfying, especially when it is accompanied by colored or flashing lights, refreshments, or a game!

the phone at my desk has been ringing off the hook. the golf course, whose phone line is connected to ours, posts job openings in the newspaper, so it's crazy how many people have called about (i presume only) one maintenance job. the number is 205.942.3690 if you're unemployed.

i only want to wear high heels and slip dresses forever. i get sad thinking about my winter clothes.

are you on last.fm? i love it. last.fm/user/joybarr

i bought my tickets on pre-sale today for blink. also performing are fall out boy, all-american rejects, and asher roth (who is comparable to t-pain in age in respect to me, though not as shocking).

did anyone else collect brochures and maps as a youth? i mean, compulsively. i felt like it was the only way i could know my recreation opportunities and it served as a free souvenir for the incomeless. it's so funny to open an old box and see a big pile of off-road attractions i never even visited. was i weird or not?

This song was stuck in my head all day yesterday. Rogue has always been my favorite despite what a lameo she was in the movies. I think her situation is intriguingly complex, not being able to touch anyone and then her desire to be "cured." I have saved all my drawings I did of her as a child. It's funny to see my attempts at drawing breasts; imagine the Chanel logo. Every Saturday morning was MST3K then X-Men. I suppose it is how my father and I bonded. He would also take me to see sci-fi movies or to the chain bookstores late at night on the weekends. He steps in my room around 10:15PM, pulling on his fleece jacket and putting his wallet in his Levi's 505s and asks if I want to go see Star Trek: Insurrection. An infallible yes.

Last weekend was perfect. I went to Mississippi with Jonathan Purvis and his friend Jamie. We went to Tupelo Friday night and camped with some PB&J's and P. Saturday we head downtown to the Tupelo Elvis Festival. We walk up to the first area we come to, which was a block lined with booths for vendors and local organizations. We immediately see 5 or 6 guys all dressed in red, white, and blue Elvis costumes. They called themselves the Rebelvises and were pretty much just Ole Miss tailgaters. They were all smoking cigars and after taking a photo with them, they asked if we wanted some lemonade. We were thirsty (and really hungry) and eagerly accepted. You knew this guy was so excited about his joke set up because he swiftly responded, "Well... this is OUR lemonade... It's not your average kind..." To which we were even more thrilled! 11:45AM and men in fancy Elvis costumes were pouring us Solo cups of free alcohol from a red, plastic gasoline can. This was gonna rule. We saw a middle eastern kid in Elvis garb and even a wheelchair Elvis. Then we turned onto the next street and that was about it! Boo! We had a really big build up, but nothing else was as cool. There was a carnival with a bunch of rides, but nothing too exciting I'd shell out $5 for. There was a rainbow ride named Moby Dick and it was just so funny to see the giant green letters of "Moby Dick" twirling in a circle with slow pop country music BLARING. I wish I had uploaded my video so I could post it now. There was also a gated area with bands that you had to pay to get in. We could tell that we arrived early and that things would probably be more bumpin that night; we were there with a lot of moms and strollers. We stopped in an art gallery and asked where was good to eat and directly across the street was a bitchin cafe! Cute staff and lots of veg options. We went to a decent thrift store and we all found several items. I got two pretty cotton bras (WHY DON'T ALL BRAS HOOK IN THE FRONT?? I'M NEVER GOING BACK TO... BACK!) and some black converse high tops. I have the black out high tops, but now I have the classic style. PRE-broken in, oh man. We drove about an hour to Oxford and set up our campsite. It was gorgeous. Right on a lake and next to other Animal Collective fans! 7 more friends showed up and we went downtown to eat pizza and stand in line for will call. A few minutes after we were inside, Black Dice began their set and I was really stoked on it. Droney and lots of layers to fall into. I had the perfect spot for BD & AC. There was a raised area around the lower "pit" area, which was about the size of Bottletree. I was on a little set of stairs stage left, a few yards back from the stage and had a perfect view of the bands and over everyone's heads! There was never a line for the bar despite the sold out show b/c most hipsters are under 21 (if you're older than that, you're probably not a trend whore). Animal Collective was great b/c they played all the songs I wanted to hear and it was just a great vibe. BD merch dude told me it was the best night of tour so far. When we got back to the campsite, everyone built a fire and ate smores and several other campsites came to ours to hang out and everyone was singing and some guy had a guitar then everyone jumped in the lake and went skinny dipping. All of this was told to me b/c in typical adorable Joy fashion, I was fast asleep in my tent and woke up chipper around 8AM. I imagine a landscape painting of a raging campsite party with whiskey being passed and nudity in the moonlight and to the left side of the portrait is me in a nylon womb all snug and smiling with z's floating over my head.

Not that I'm a big Jay-Z fan or nuttin, but he called it. DOA, bra. Ppl have been relying too much on the vocal effects as a catch. I really like "Blame It," but I hope that that is the last major release we hear with such heavy autotuning. It's time for new creative hooks and tricks to push through. This has been going on for too long.

I am back to normal. My mind whirrs at a million miles per hour. I am ultra cognizant and finding meaning for my life all around me. My mind jumps so quickly that I forget to do a lot of stuff, but I'm packed with great ideas and things to say at any moment. If only I were a clone army.

Project Runway's Wikipedia page says, "The season will air on Lifetime beginning August 20, 2009." SQUEE!!!!!!!

If I drove to Atlanta on 7/10, I could take a ROUND TRIP flight to Orlando for just $170 and totally go to a most magical place and dodge the socially inept over the weekend. I keep thinking about that Mummy ride at Universal. I want to find out if it is still my favorite ride. I rode it several times in a row when I was there 2 or 3 years ago. We kept going in the single rider line, but the employees still let us all ride together! It was literally NO wait versus a 3 hour wait!

Fried seafood has bested me. Since January when I became veg, I have eaten seafood thrice and each time it was a giant platter of friedness. My most delicious Achilles' heel! My birthday, 2 weekends ago in Atlanta, and last night. It sucks b/c now that it's been three times, it makes it easier for me to justify it. I will stand strong!

Sometimes when I go out and meet a lot of strangers, they fawn over me and bombard me with complements and I feel uncomfortable and everyone is looking at me and I feel like a jackass and a spectacle. This really does happen to me enough for me to fear it! Usually women are doling this out, but boys too will cloyingly suffocate me. I just try to be nice and hope if I don't say much, they will not find new things to like about me. I fear coming off as a jerk, but I think ppl can tell I am genuine.

Would u smoke a medieval dime?

I have two more important things I want to talk at length about, but I am out of time at work.

http://us.myspace.com/butterflystarpower Sounds like: I Object (if the singer was 5) or maybe Shirley Temple (post-apocalypse). Some have said we have a Wesley Willis Fiasco thing going on. so good!

One star Amazon reviews: Alien. Here are the archives with the rest, including This is Spinal Tap ("If you’re going to make such an excellent documentary, why make it about about a band that nobody has ever heard of?"), Who's Next ("Oh Biba Rileo, it gives me a headache!!!! This isn’t music, this is noise!!! Try listen to true musicians like…Celine Dion, Britney Spears, Linkin Park, and the one and only…………… GOOD CHARLOTTE"), Anne Frank: The Diary of a Young Girl ("It was really really boring. Its about some girl and her life- who cares!?! It is a total girly-girl book. Too dull to even care. I couldnt even pay attention to what happened to her, why it was so awful. Oh Well, NEXT…")

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:Comedians_who_committed_suicide





"the Hallelujah Chorus done by 200 kazoo players with perfect pitch"
"the New Mutants, whose attachment to normal human attributes is extremely tenuous"
"mescaline, women, art, truth, and lies"
i ordered something for your birthday with those descriptions, but the seller ended up being out of stock, i guess you could say.











From Comics Should Be Good!: Great thoughts on Star Trek, which I adored, & the always needed fan boy beat down (I chose to not scroll through the comments, ugh).





Thanks to zendeni and trebro for content!

maybe this is the sadness i am supposed to be keeping an eye out for. last night i got so upset. i felt so sorry for all the things i couldn't change, for things i didn't even do. i felt sorry for the world around me or something. i felt sad for realizing who i am, for coming into my own person and achieving a higher self-awareness. it is something i have always found much pride and pleasure in (even towards smugness), but it suddenly filled me with depression as i accept new roles for myself and others (relegation of my superiors particularly), and am forced to act on my wisdom and not my feelings. but i feel like this estranges me from people. i typed out dozens of text messages and sent only one when i deemed it the most appropriate. but it was void of anything i truly wanted to convey or share or ask; only nothing is safe. i thought about all the people i was "close" to when it was convenient to be so. what do i need? it makes my head spin: the people i want to call and to see, but do not; the notion of my life beyond where i am now; the civil war between my impracticality and my practicality. i cannot handle these things at the moment, but distracting myself from the inevitable also fills me with despair! i am looking forward to peace!

Ariel Pink's mentor R. Stevie Moore


I think I dreamed about everything last night. I have felt like my brain is whirring at a million miles per hour lately. This resulted in the unsettling subconscious culmination of all the boys and bands and dread and travels that have been on my mind lately. You know those days, the days when you could cry for anything. Remote sentimental notions or mild frustrations spawn a tearful cascade. I do not feel like I have a lot to be sore about; I am undoubtedly at one of the happiest times of my life thus far. I believe I need to find something to look forward to, preferably something to work at. I know some things I want to achieve or see, but I cannot comprehend how to affix these goals to my current life. I do not desire another life. That is the rub. But I feel bad about things I have no control over and things I haven't ever felt bad about before. I feel weird, I guess. What is this? I feel like I want to be constantly moving, like some sort of sudden onset restless leg syndrome. Unfortunately, I am still sore from one afternoon of Wii Fit last weekend, so my desire for rigorous activity has been ceased. So instead I've occupied myself with logic problems; it is rather lamentable how many I have completed. However, I am bangin at those and knock them out with the quickness. My swift mind is also very focused, but I cannot use my focus for reading; I am completely uninterested in books or blogs. I subsist on Facebook status updates. Well during the day, mind you. My evenings are filled with cooking and social interactions and living room rallies.

I stole this from Patrick, who I suppose got it from another source as well: "People said that a black man would be president when pigs fly. 100 days into Obama's administration, swine flu."

A new list of disjointed thoughts to share: One long scab. "Squatter girls do it with a crowbar." Dream percolation. Inappropriate helping verbs. You go girl. I go boy. Vom & horf. Jingle jangle. Belay on. Heroin power hour.

Today I am going to get new name tags for Rascal and Taki. They are pretty cute when they interact even though they are not completely cool around one another. I think they have similar temperaments, so they will be great together.

In other Barr-Gainer household news, Rachel is buying a sailboat forealzies!!??!!

I would like to confess that I have no idea what last.fm is. Do you install something on your computer to monitor what you listen to?

For my closing note, I would like to find out how to increase my wireless connection. It is so horrifically slow that I do not use it at home. Can you tell me?

the second time i kissed you i had something so sticky on my hand; i had no idea what it was.

i like sharing food from the same plate with my boyfriend.

i am reliving my beautiful life, except MORE ADVANCED!! this time around, there is more knowledge, optimism, and freedom. all i want to do is sigh about it and look at the sky from under a tree. but i can't. b/c i am having too much good.

i always buy too many bananas. whudupwiddat??

i feel so smart and alert today. i did 3 logic problems w/o running into any brick walls and played phoenix wright for an hour at lunch w/o any errors either! tonight i am seeing chris and so i am glad i get to see him in such a state! i have been thinking about how much fun we had together, so i hope he is also eager to see me.

"When I want to read a good book, I write one." —Benjamin Disraeli

Who do we know that lives in dc?



Lighting a candle for Geocities ♥ omg @ that dropping blood banner! Dope! Wasn't Cavan's Twisted Animal Farm a Geocities site? Well RIP 'n 'at, but I'm pretty thankful that no blink-182 fan sites are going to come back to haunt me in my adult life. I would always name them Wasting Time after the song and I thought that was SO clever.

when is blink gonna post tour dates???? there is a bbc1 show that is named after & features songs by blink: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/All_the_Small_Things_(TV_series) i don't get it, even after (especially after?) watching clips on youtube.

i love being vegetarian so much! you know what else rules in my life now? my roommate, my apartment, my cat, my books, my clothes, my boyfriend, my boyfriend's birthday, my family, pepsi max, lego batman, phoenix wright, the weather, lost, the sunshine, rascal, cooking, eating snacks, music, movies, my friends, bike rides, shorts, dresses, skin, my hair, freedom, whatever.

I think I enjoy typing up poems how some ppl like uploading music. Here is one from a book I am reading.

"elegy for the old hunt's"

1.

There's a legend in the Mission:
If you write your wishes
really small on a piece of paper,
and stick it into a fresh bullethole,
all your dreams will come true.

2.

There's a hole on Mission Street,
where the donut shop used to be.

The sign said,
Open 24 Hours.

The sign inside said,
These premises are not to be used
for the buying or selling of
stolen merchandise.

Any time of the day or night
one could buy
gold chains, bear claws,
bicycle seats, eclairs,
DVDs, chocolate covered old fashioneds,
CDs, buttermilk bars.

Outside,
old men shot craps,
crackhead magpies
exchanged shiny treasure
for dollar bills,
and young men
tried to look older.

3.

She stole my heart,
he told me,
and nine months later,
she stole the rest of my shit.

I came home,
and the place was empty,
she took everything,
even the food.

I took a look for my stash:
still there.
I rolled me a joint the size of your pinky
and shortly thereafter
I came down here
for some snacks.

I picked out a bear claw
when I spotted my
eight track on the table by the window.
That was Show Charlie selling my shit.
Now they called him Slow Charlie
on account of the way he talked,
not on account of the way he used a razor.
I knew not to push it,
that I had to shut up and buy it all back.

I bought back
my eight track
my hi fi
my rekkid player
my color TV and the clicker
my Power Man comics
my Iceburg Slim novels

and then would you believe it,
I saw my own motherfuckin' heart
lying there on the formica.

I said, Slow Charlie,
now I'm cool buying this shit back
but you got to cut me a break
on this here heart now baby.
I can't pay you full price
cuz I know for a fact
this heart is broke AND stolen.

Slow Charlie
takes his damn time
his mouth moving slower
than Christmas on a leap year.

He said,
say you got a heart that ain't been broke
I'll tell you to go to hell.
Say you got a heart that ain't been stole
and I'll steal that shit myself.

I said, Say now, Slow Charlie.
Don't give me that
street rap it's-true-because-it-rhymes
bullshit.

Then I saw his fingers twitchin
like they did that night in Nap's Bar
and I said,
It's cool baby, it's cool.

But I was out of cash.
I had to go home.

I put the bear claw
in the hole where my heart should be

but that night
every time I thought of her
I gained four ounces.

4.

That first month I was sober
I'd wake up
like a sandbag was dropped on my gut.

All I could think
was
whiskeywhiskeywhiskey.

It was the liquor store
or the donut shop.

The donut shop was on the way
to the liquor store
and it always stopped me.

5.

In the 25th hour,
If you looked through
a donut hole
out the window
you could see across
space and time.

One night I was there.

I stared out the window
at Mission Street.

I saw the GI's in the '40s
cruising down the miracle mile
under the theater lights.

I saw lowriders from the 70's
bumper to bumper.

I saw myself from 1989
walking right by
I banged on the window
started yelling out
bet on the A's in four,
buy Microsoft and Wal Mart,
and
hey, dumbass
she's right in front of you.
Don't think too hard
let it happen.

Right as '89 me turned around
and mouthed "what?"

The 25th hour was up.

6.

When there was no more room in hell,
the dead came to Hunt's.

The junkies with a sugar jones.
The young vatos looking for a break.
The heartbroke drunks from the bars.
Iggy and Ivy doing midnight homework.

There were cops and crackheads,
yuppies and bums,
the cool, the trendy,
and the clueless.

All of us
needed a donut
sometimes.

The night they gutted Hunt's
I stood outside the gaping hole.
thinking:
Where will we go?

7.

There's a hole in my heart
where the donut shop used to be.

Hunt's was a place
where it was socially acceptable
to cry at 4AM.

No one ever asked me
what was wrong.

There were clubs I couldn't stand,
bars where I didn't fit in,
cafes that weren't right for me,
but at Hunt's,
I always fit in.

8.

I had this dream
that all my ex girlfriends formed a gang
and did a drive by on me
as I was leaving the donut shop.

The last thing I did before I woke up
was write this poem really small on a piece of paper
and stick it in my bullethole
where my heart used to be.

Have you been reading Buddyhead like I suggested? Their latest gossip column ruled. Remember when Emo bands used to be fronted by dudes that looked and acted like chicks singing/screaming/weeping on stage? Well after that band Parawhore or whatever got big, the geniuses who market this shit decided to eliminate the middle-penis and just sign emo bands with actual girls singing. Now it seems like there’s a bleeder with hair dyed like a parrot fronting every shitty Hot Topic band, trying to hypnotize 13 years boys by shaking her tiny tittles around. Check out Hey Monday, Flyleaf, Automatic Loveletter, Fireflight and the front page of the next 10 issues of Alternative Press if you don’t believe us. This shit sucked when it was called Avril Lavinge and it hasn’t gotten better with age. I'm sayin!

Short story: "The School" by Donald Barthelme ♥ we require an assertion of value, we are frightened.

Here is a new poem from Dallas Clayton and then another one from the other day I also liked.
"GENERAL MOTORS"
I spent a year
driving empty freight trains across the state.
Hired by the Union Pacific
just to keep them visible
so no one forgot
about the existence of the locomotive.

"DON’T WORRY"
We can plant food
in the earth
and it will grow.

It is not a secret.
It is easier to make
than clothes or movies.

We don’t even need to yell at it.
You don’t even need to freak out
or stress,
or whatever you call it
when your jaw gets all tight
like I saw it get that one time
you were mad about your coworker
who cheated you out of that sales commission.

Yeah, you were so mad then.
Couldn’t stop talking about it.
Coming up with weird revenge plans
like a TV caper crook.

Can’t even remember that job now.
Can’t even remember what it felt like to call someone a coworker.
But you remember the food we ate.

Juicy Watermelons.
Came up out of the ground
took no effort at all
just time.
like a baby
or anything else that truly matters.

Jon Ezell posted an awesome rant on Whatddit.be about Alabama representative Jay Love's bill proposed to the state legislature to thank Miss California for her remarks on gay marriage. It has been taken down though (I read it archived on Google Reader), probably b/c Jon posted this little southern gentry turd's personal contact info and challenged Love to a fistfight, which Jon was very clear to point out he would be the winner of. Though perhaps Jon removed the article because he had a change of heart and decided an aggrandizement of his physical strength was not a good move on behalf of civil rights proponents.

i want this: http://www.littlefashiongallery.com/shop/en/le_tour_de_force-accessories-andromede_silk_star_headpiece-p-4526.html and this: http://www.idontlikemondays.us/Merchant2/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Product_Code=09010124&Category_Code=WOM-MAIN&Product_Count=32

Xtra Normal ♥ make your own cartoon movies using text and choosing a scene, pretty redonk.



pensacola was wondrously relaxing. i spent my birthday laying on the beach with my boyfriend and friends. the tie fighter had a tough time of it at the beach; b/c the wind was so strong, the large kite was more inclined to go straight out instead of up. the weather was overcast and rather cool, but it kept everyone's sunburns to a minimum. i party enough in town, so chilling/napping on the beach all day and getting to sleep early both nights is just what i wanted. now that i've had a nice break, i'm stoked to get back into the groove. my next plans and projects are moving over my bookshelves, books, chair, and cat to the apt; downloading a lot of new music (my internet at home has not been regular lately); getting some craft on (creativity must be released!); lost season 3 (only 16 episodes!); and futzin' around with my new DSi (thanks chris!!) & gloom expansion packs (thanks randy & wess!!).

i can't even tell you about how i feel. i can't EVEN TELL YOU BECAUSE IT IS SOMETHING NEW. you must realize how frustrating it is for such a communicative freak as myself.

Homo thugs ♥ I love the author's excitement, haha!

Why I Love America by Inga La Gringa ♥ Really sweet.

ScarJo takes on the tabloids ♥ Reminds me of another passionate confrontation I read this morning. Stating the things everyone knows are true, attacking the source of so much frustration and problems for a large group of people.

Man are Stupid, Women are Crazy ♥ So, let's be romantic about it, and call this thing that people want "love". Now let's be less romantic and more alliterate, and say love is a composite of sex, solace, and security.
Sex is obvious. Everybody wants sex. Sex is awesome. Probably the most awesome thing ever, unless you've been traumatized one way or another. Security is important, and I'm going on with the premise that everybody wants security in some way. Even those of us that gamble our feelings in fixed races are hoping we won't have them trampled and handed back to us as bus tickets. (Parse that metaphor. I dare you.) Everybody wants something, someone, someplace to hold and not have to let go.
Solace is trickier, and possibly not the right word, but I like the alliteration. Solace is the thought that you are loved. It's the idea that you are still able to love, or that you believe in something that makes you feel pretty good at least thirty or forty percent of the time. It's not necessarily the answer to why am I here or what the hell am I doing, but it's enough of a salve for existential angst to make us stop needing to ask the nasty questions, at least thirty or forty percent of the time we'd normally be asking them. But it gets way better...

LMyLife ♥ Overheard in New York style site where people submit sweet things that happen to them.

Delicious looking tofu recipes ♥ Wish I had seen some of these last week when I had some time to cook!

I am feeling really flustered today. Tomorrow is my birthday. I've been so emotional the past few days. Lance called me to say hello. Living with Rachel is fun b/c we both love food. Why, why did Bush veto the Matthew Shepard Act? Why, why does Susan Boyle make us all cry? I keep thinking about being in Venezuela; did you know I went there in elementary school? I'm so insanely addicted to caffeine, a miserable existence. My boyfriend is so nice to me and always keeps me sane in ways that freak me out when I read our horoscope compatibility. I am ready to peace this popsicle stand.

Looking at the responses, I see the Killers, Final Fantasy IX music on piano, Rammstein, Pink Floyd, Accross the Universe soundtrack, Alanis Morissette, Lacuna Coil, Lifehouse, Lady Gaga, Bon Jovi, and the Goo Goo Dolls. This is why no one is on LiveJournal any more.

You know those SkyMall catalogs on every plane? The Best/Worst of SkyMall 2008 ♥ What I liked about the article was that best and worst are interchangeable on these items.

Days with my Father ♥ this made me cry. at work. read the whole thing.

Crayon rings ♥ Let's make our own!

The Different Kinds of People That There Are: A Complete List ♥ Some of my favorite categories are People Who Claim to Be Afraid of Clowns, Babies, People Who Don't Know How to Drink (this made me feel empowered), and Animals That Are Really People Who Got Transformed by a Witch.

I was thinking about art again today and stylization. What are the implications when an artist uses a familiar image in an unfamiliar place? Whether it is a character used out of context or just an identifiable style, it always seems unsettling to recognize work in a new place, especially a commercial one. It happens pretty often with music; I saw the Victoria's Secret commercial Erin mentioned the other day with Joanna Newsom's harp. But what about a visual artist's character used in a new way? What does it change about the artist's future usage of the character? Will the audience still be able to take it seriously? Some characters have many artists and were created in a commercial venture, so that is not really what I am addressing. We already have a standard of how we view and evaluate them. Just thinking out loud. Worth exploring. I would like to learn more about art & ethics 'n'at.

There is a super influx of strangers adding me on Facebook. Whadupwidat? They all live in town, so did I meet them and forget? Many Silky fans tried to add me a while back, but I had to say no. I just referred them to my fan page. I can't believe Chris went through all his Facebook friends and filtered out the ppl he didn't know. He was at maximum friends! That must have taken a few days.

Last night I was feeling right and came up with a lot of awesome ideas. The two best ones were Rachel and I getting on a home makeover television show and "Build a little turdhouse in yr bowl." I think Rachel and I live in a really cool space and that we have a lot of really rad stuff and we are both really cute and have good things to say that the television watching population would dig. So I have been researching those shows to see about submissions/applications. So far, no leads. For the Style show Dress My Nest, it says NOTE: You must live in or around Los Angeles to participate in Dress My Nest. I have a feeling it's all going to be that way. Maybe we should submit ourselves to a local publication. I mean, really, it's not about that we need help; I just think we're good candidates for free stuff. Speaking of us and stuff: Rachel & I are going to World Market today with a fat coupon. David's stuff is out, so we have a lot more space and I really hope we can find some things we need/like! We want a Batman theme for the kitchen. And if I was in a band I would definitely name one of my songs with that They Might Be Giants play. Maybe I underestimate Silky. I often feel like her options are limited. But that is just b/c I have an idea of how I want things to be. Maybe I need to relinquish her, but I feel like doing that would mix her closer in with myself and I have been holding her at a distance so as to keep the persona aspect of it. As I've said many times, Silky Snowflake is me, but I am not Silky Snowflake. I don't feel comfortable knocking down that wall.

I AM READY TO HAVE FUN! My trunk is completely full of kites, umbrellas, a cooler, beach chairs, camping duds, and I haven't even packed for my own self yet. It is only 2 days to pack for, but you know, I don't wanna be caught without a toothbrush if I need to get some birthday kisses! YEAH BECAUSE MY BIRTHDAY IS SATURDAY! I have presents coming in the mail from Chris and Randy, two people who know me well and it feels good to get the things you really want from the people you really like! Rachel & I enjoyed the sparkling blush wine from Melanie (who also scored me a free facial last Sat!). I don't usually care for gummy candies, but the bears Rodney gave me are really hitting the spot. I wish I had a tiny friend to sleep on my sweater monster from Michela b/c it is SO flipping soft. Maybe he can be Taki's friend. Mike gave me a tour cd from the Breaking World Records guy and two comics. My Shire Bound birthday cakes made another round of public deliciousness at the Bad News Bearons game last Tuesday night. I have no clue about what else is in the works, but my friends have really outdone themselves this year. Mom, get on the ball! ;)

Absolutely in love with this critique on Slate: Was Limp Bizkit Really That Bad?: Why the most hated band ever deserves another listen ♥ "It's overly generous to argue that Durst is in on the joke, exactly; when he threatens to wield a chainsaw against trash-talkers on "Break Stuff," or names a song "Break Stuff" in the first place, he probably doesn't intend to exaggerate white-male angst till it becomes satire. But in his quest to attract as many young, surly suburban fans as he can, Durst clearly enjoys hamming up his role to the point of grotesquerie—and that might amount to the same thing. [...] These songs aren't good—they're too tedious and too gross for that—but it's interesting how they deflate each other. Regardless of Durst's own lack of self-awareness here, a kind of critique still bubbles up between the lines, making manifest exactly how insupportable and hypocritical his scorn is. [...] Durst's attempts at sensitive-guy introspection hit a brick wall of ego, while his bullish facade cracks and crumbles to reveal the insecurity behind it. That's Limp Bizkit in a nutshell: music about goons alive enough to themselves to acknowledge their feelings, but paralytically dumb when it comes to figuring out what to do about them. It's mook tragicomedy."


More from Slate, in an eerily timely way as of a convo w/ Wess 3 hours ago, a series on us young adults dealing with higher ed and the economy: The Real World Threw Up All Over Us: How twentysomethings are coping with the recession & Help, My Degree Is Underwater: In the recession, does advanced education really pay off?. And, surprisingly, from the Chronicle of Higher Education, Graduate School in the Humanities: Just Don't Go.


xo.