i made some postcards. they are mirrored gold and feature graphics from my 1986 world book. gorbachev & his daughter, fiber optics, pacific nuclear transport protesters. i love using my x-acto knife. to pull an object from its world, to take it out of context and form my own, i love that.

i felt like i had some things to say, now i feel like i don't. that is good. i am tired of feeling like i need to explain myself all the time. sometimes i just want to exist; i desire to not have the desire to share information (okay, well here i go anyway...) and communicate my personal opinions and experiences. i think that it is selfish. i have always idealized sharing. my inclination to put my thoughts down in order to clear my head probably spawned this innate ideology, that getting it "out there" is superior to keeping it inside. i think growing up with the internet has only enhanced this, and it is certainly the way the world trends. online commune participation probably made me neurotic about speaking clearly. my greatest fear has always been being misunderstood. it seemed so tragic, preventable. early on, i made a point of honing tact and diction (if only to counter my redneck cohorts). if i always had the right words and if i could glean diplomatic finesse, i would be the master communicator. MAXIMUM EFFECTIVENESS. [i still need to focus on verbosity and helping verb reduction.] talking through text thorough adolescence was a major catalyst for feeling this way; hyper-dramatic high school exchanges took up hundreds and hundreds of AIM lines and livejournal comment threads. being (literally) misread would spark a drawn out deal for nothing. thank god we are wiser and (more) emotionally stable these days. but unfortunately it is the same in the adult world and i am alone. and now i am feeling less concerned with it all. i am weary of talking in circles and explaining the minutiae of my life. i dread future courting. and further, i don't want everything to be a shared experience anymore. i want some special things for just me to treasure. i can experience something beautiful and not wish i was witnessing it with another person or not desire to write it all down or not whip out my camera to post to flickr. when i decided photography was not for me, i started taking pictures as ways to capture memories, LIKE MOST PEOPLE DO. it was relieving. it made me think a lot about approaches to art. self-awareness and what not. i feel like there is a lot of pressure to make everything... cinematic, epic, moving. my special notes don't have to be. i want everything for me. but then again, i guess if you make the right connection with someone, you don't have to say so much. that is the point. they "get" you. it would be someone i could finally shut up around, find peace with. who knows, every combination of people is unique. i don't even know what i want any more, but that's okay. i'm just stuck in a... box @ zee momente.

i want to start memorizing poems again. i can still recite a few, mostly silly ones from my childhood, shakespeare monologues, or from ms. buzzard's 7th grade GRC class when we had to memorize like 60(?) lines of poetry per semester. i like the oratory aspect because you completely own the language. when people read words, they are not viewing you, just text. and when you talk, you are the language. and if you mess up or say the wrong thing, it makes it more meaningful and unique because it is your version, whatever oral history blah blah blah
"an announcement"
ladies and gentlemen, hobos and tramps,
crosseyed mosquitos and bow-legged ants,
i come before you to stand behind you
to tell you a story i know nothing about.
last last night, early this morning,
an empty truck full of bricks,
pulled into my front yard,
killing my cat in the backyard
that same night, two dead boys got up to fight
a deaf policeman heard the noise
and came and shot the two dead boys
if you don't believe this story is true,
ask the blind man; he saw it too.

my 2010 planner is in the mail and i already have several things to write down.

"when you can't stand yourself, go outside"

affirmation, that's what i want. i feel like it's pathetic to seek it, but i feel pathetic without it.

spent my morning with some intense punk rock daydreams. le sigh.

the intoxicating bouquet of fried chicken has permeated my office. i want to ravenously gnaw on the next living creature i see. ::claws out eyeballs::

ribbons of vhs tape
sidewind across the highway
ushered forward by the wind
shying away from the cars
tangled in the blades and twigs.
maybe a birthday party
or a sexy video
or a played out copy of
fear and loathing in las vegas.
how many days will i drive by
this dazzling piece of litter
before it becomes post-
modern roadside detritus?

you said she said she was
"tired of your rhetoric,"
and i instantly thought
her a genius, because
i vehemently agree;
i am weary from afar.
in theory you are a
brilliant companion,
just not the one for me.
i wish you well from here.

i love the smoky winter sky today. it reminds me of vacationing to... the smoky mountains. gatlinburg thanksgiving at dolly parton's dixie stampede where they don't give you any silverware and the crowd stomps in approval. airbrushed taffy and saltwater tshirts. the adoption of native americans by motorcycle enthusiasts. brilliant displays of christmas lights, formed into familiar shapes of gargantuan size, swathing the congested hwy 441 between gatlinburg, pigeon forge, and sevierville. outlet malls where i purchased my first pair of vans. cousins gripping my hooded sweatshirt as i craned for a glimpse of what could be a potential hottie.

I have taken in every form of media I can think of today. I feel weary of staring and listening and translating and storing. I feel like I bombarded myself, but I needed a distraction. Welcome return to the living. First, sleep.

"sometimes people let the same problems make them miserable for years when they should just say so what. that’s one of my favorite things to say. so what. i don’t know how i made it through all the years before i learned how to do that trick. it took a long time for me to learn it, but once you do you never forget." -andy warhol

and i turn into a spiral of melted me, swirling down the drain, with all of your poop. all of the negativity around me, and me deflecting it all until the sun goes down, and with the moon rise, i collapse into an exhausted hunk, staring blankly, shoulders sagged, brain racing with concerns of sanity. what is my next move? so what.

escape to the outdoors, just move my body, that's something. somethink. have a thousand good ideas and let them patter into the neuroether. can't get past it. i think i prefer to volley, but not as a mere distraction. everything feels like a distraction, but from what? what is my subconscious shooing me away from? so what?

power and energy and action and cheer and the things i prize and cherish, they wax and wane. i feel them fade and rise in me like an injection in my jugular. "It's calm under the waves, in the blue of my oblivion." i guess it's mid-twenties, i guess it's admitting to ennui, i guess it's normalcy, i guess i feel fine. so what.

"Making a Digital First Impression." so what. "Play count." so what. "Orlando vacation package." so what. "To do list." so what. the fresh baked bread that tastes just like a stick of butter. so what. "We had a nice dinner." so what. "So what." so what.

I'll tell you what.
But you have to ask me.
But I have to see you.
But I have to leave soon.

"So what" is only good for someone else. i need this as it is, not undermined.

a scratch, a baguette,
big leaf, stained teeth,
open casket, no drinks: flask it,
she died too soon, a macaroon,
leaf crunch, slept through brunch,
long walk, little talk.

By: Joy Barr
2nd Period Advanced English (8th grade)

Let's see here: vacuum living room, check; sweep kitchen, check; make dinner, check; rule world, check. With all this talk about the new millinium coming, it only seem fair that something else comes too. Oppertunity! Within the last century, alone, women have made themselves equal, & then some. If you don't believe me here's some scientifically proven facts, that explain why & how we're better than out masculine counterparts.
According to Farmers Insurance, you should be glad your a girl, because you'll save major moolah on car insurance. Why, you ask? Well, studies show that guys are more reckless with cars. The're also three times as likely to die from an accident than girls. And listen to this: when boys get married, their car insurance drops dramatically, because of some unwritten rule, that women keep men in line while they're driving.
Having a baby may be the last ting on your mind right now, but did you ever realize what a huge accomplishment to the human race it is? No matter how far science comes, we're the only ones right for the job. It's women who make this beautiful feat possible. We give life! Better yet, we are life!
Finally, when most of the guys your age are 6 underground, chances are that you'll be around 7 more years. There are lots of reasons why. According to Roy da Crose, Ph.D, women live longer, because we're more in tune with our bodies. A study showed that when it comes to smoking & drinking, we make better decisions.



I wonder why I never finished writing it. The rough draft was finished. I didn't know I started writing with ampersands that early. Maybe I should have taken up magazine writing with my cheesy writing style.

hey, did any of you guys have that medusa/beauty crimethinc poster up on your wall in high school? i saw it in the background of a photo on a random blog post and googled it. love the text. i wonder what i did with my copy. i think i had a few posters like this...

the back of the poster is an article on "beauty subversion," but i dont agree that beauty should be subverted! i think it's all about deviant beauty. it's like apple jacks, "we eat what we like." i think if we truly spend time turning inward, meditating on our own behaviors, decisions, whatever, you will find your own patterns. and that is something to revel in. it's important to take a step back, quit looking at the world around you, take control and understand. i am limited here, trying to articulate my own experiences, what fulfills me, whatever.

"We need a language with which we can celebrate through description, not comparison. Without this, no matter how clearly we know we should value every little thing for its own sake, we are trapped by the assumptions of our own means of expression... What is most precious in experiences is not the lowest common denominators, but the once-in-a-lifetime particulars—but words leave those out entirely. What use is a word that only applies to one moment of one individual’s experience? That is not a currency that can retain value from one to another, and thus is useless for communication. Communication is a necessary part of being human; but it is crucial that each of us remembers that no word or concept could ever capture the infinite depth and complexity of a single instant of life."

last night i went to bed a little early to catch up from the past few days, but this morning i woke up tired and sore, not refreshed. i had some intense dreams, running away from threatening people, car chases, losing all my belongings. urgency, fear. perhaps that is why i am so tired. i am also thinking that i didn't really move all night, so hopefully that is why i am sore and i do not have LA GRIPPE DU PORC.
i love to wake up. i love waking up. im not talking about with an alarm, but naturally. :) the instant comprehension and dreamy, fuzzy thoughts. now, after the moment i wake is not good. i become aware that my cozy warmth is soon to be stripped. i become cranky, but i'm doing better. i used to swing fists at my mom or tell lovers to leave me alone, let me sleep. i spent about 5 years never having to wake up early and now i am finally accustomed after working here a year and a half. i wonder if i would gladly revert to 11AM mornings and staying up so late. i think i would. i think i am like my father in that way. it's weird to see which parts of my parents i took on. physicality, emotions, personality, you know.

mexican restaurant by my work closed. tying up a noose.

i am so lucky to have an envirofriendly roomie. drives me insane to consider folks not considering how much they waste. what if i piled all the styrofoam cups you've used this month on your head? would you suffocate? i will often forgo eating places because they package in 5 tons of styrofoam or plastic. at least the major chain fast food stores don’t use styrofoam anymore. it’s all the little local businesses that do. UGH STRIFE! the other day i heard the cfo of my company say, “no we’re not going green in 2010.” admittedly this was a lame year for the company, but it just happened to be one of the wettest years in decades and we are outdoor sports. someone in the office was mentioning buying recycled paper for the copier and so it got nixed. makes my head spin, thinking about it all, all that “trash” that could be reused. in grade school, in college, at every place i’ve ever worked, except whole foods. and that was a whole other issue. i was raised recycling and it’s such a small effort to me. i cannot really get why someone WOULDN’T. anyway so they introduced recycling as this innovative idea, which irritated me and then they ended up making it out to be big chore. there was one regional trainer recycling nazi who would berate folks and dump over trash cans to pick out recyclables. she was a poor ambassador for my passions. call me self-righteous all day; you’re fucking lazy all day. things are only a big deal when you make them a big deal. BE IN CONTROL OF THE SIZE OF YOUR DEALS (now that’s some life advice! take it home, on me). don’t even make it a deal. let’s make everything a nonissue so i won’t feel so conflicted and frustrated. this isn’t even racism or something. this is having two containers and very minimal knowledge. now, it takes more energy to recycle things than it does to make new things, so you can see what a dance it all is, but that’s why RECYCLING is only ONE THIRD of the process. REUSING (i.e. real plates and cups for one [and let’s make them out of glass and metal for two]) is so important. keep a pile of tote bags in your car. i definitely struggle with this. i have gone to the grocery store a dozen times, walking out with my arms too full, refusing to have my groceries bagged. but how about that, buying lots of dumb packaging. i keep thinking about making my own tofu, toasting cereal, etc. but that is all really intensive. to me. i guess that sounds insane to some ppl and normal to recycling nazi types; not sure how i fit in it all. i guess it’s my religion or whatever. something to strive to reach a higher level and feel guilty about. HOW ABOUT REDUCTION, REDUCTIONS ALL ACROSS THE BOARD. consumer whoring and food portion control and whatnot. maybe it is all a control issue. maybe it is all a self-deprivation issue. but i know this shit ain’t liberal. it’s not here to pee on your parade. maybe it’s enlightenment, a paradigm, whatever. get there! what is this anyway? me ranting on my livejournal, to reread tomorrow and pump my fist and fix a few typos? it’s all bullshit! DO WHATEVER YOU WANT.

we gotta make every decision for the children! no more self-preservation. well, i mean, the children's welfare is part of our self-preservation! we need to impress upon them radness and how to chill.
WITH A REBEL YELL, I CRY "MO HOMO."
"Everything's cool if you got nothing else to say about it. So cigarette cigarette cigarettes etc."
"Life goes on after the damage is done. The death encoded in your chromosomes."
"What good is bring famous if I'm never on your mind"
"I had gotten mental illness confused with the performing arts."
All I want to do is write rap songs and read punk memoirs. And, hey, I'm doing it.
"The circuit riding preacher used to ride across the land/ With a rifle in his saddle and a Bible in his hand/ He told the prairie people all about the promised land/ As he went singing, riding down the trail/ Leaning, leaning, safe and secure from all alarm/ Leaning, leaning, leaning on the everlasting arms."
i want to talk talk talk to everyone!

i have SO MUCH TO SAY. i am SO HAPPY. i'ts important that you know those two things for now.

I AM GOING TO LIVE WITH JULIAN CASABLANCAS IN SILVER LAKE. I SAY MO HOMO! I SAY YES HOMO! I SAY UP THE PUNX! I SAY NOON IS A GOOD TIME FOR A HANGOVER TO KICK IN! I SAY I KNOW WHY EVERYONE IS SCARED OF DYING ALONE BUT I ALSO SAY THAT THIS FEAR IS NOT SOMETHING THAT WILL CHANGE HOW MY HEART GLIDES THROUGH LIFE NOR IS IT REALIZED IN ME! YOU WILL NOT TAKE ROOT IN ME. I SAY I AM SURPRISED OF THE REGULARITY AROUND ME! I SAID IT!

the front of the vine.
a rearrangement of chairs.
the earth frozen hard.
at my backyard i stare.

blackening, neglected,
shriveled, dry garden.
i hope vegetation
grants me a pardon.

immediately,
the insects reclaimed
what's rightfully theirs
and left me with shame.

i sat on the couch.
hot days melted by.
the garden had grown
and now it has died.


it's become my normalcy, but it's weird because it's not my life. i guess i'm not surprised. i guess i am enthralled. the ones that reclaim and mull and reinterpret our past. shred our past. forgotten technologies and neglected health codes. artificially natural. it's finesse no doubt. "work the system." the stragglers, hoods up, combing the phone book, giggling, wrapped around a pot of coffee. the makers, scoliosis inducing doodle binge, ink stained palms, furrowed brows, freezing cold determination. the girls, self-enchanted, overly sexual, bee stung everything, victorian fetish, mask fetish, can't help it. prisms and pyramids, lentils and rentals, blown out amps, two string guitar, local apologies, nationwide circuit, the warmth of cthulhu's tentacles, mice turds. it's like the cheers theme song. it's like art school. it's like summer camp. it's like when you start writing all over your body and you can't stop. it's like how you never knew there was an escalator there.

last fall i was so sad and crazy. living at my parents' really wrecked me. reading a post from a year ago, i was so scatterbrained about how to even organize my life and get simple things done. i am feeling gr8 now. gr8 now.

also, i feel that it is important to note that 11/5/01 was the day i started reading harry potter and the sorcerer's stone for the first time.

children!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DISH,_TX
well...
well, (depending on where you live) there are no emission regulations for rural areas. rural areas have cleaner air than urban, obviously. so this is where all the fucking factories & industrial outlets go, right? because no one will regulate them right? well listen, this is also where the farms are (spewing their own gunk sure). livestock are dying and people are getting nosebleeds and seizures and ruptured eardrums from the loud machinery.
http://edocket.access.gpo.gov/2009/E9-26440.htm
cleaner is not clean.
in high school and college i learned about how much natural gas there was and how difficult it was to extract. well guess what? now the technology is here. and that new technology is completely retrogressive, spewing millions of tons of goo into the air every year. what is the point? don't buy it, i've seen ads. remember those ads for a new cleaner burning coal? give me a break. writing the word "coal" in green letters doesn't reduce ash or fumes, son. rebranding your company to look like apple doesn't get my support. but that's the rub. i am not an idiot and most people are. ♪♫♪ "for the tv tells me so." but listen to this, the cost is still so extreme and natural gas prices are low. you will hear much coverage over natural gas these days because hubbub will create a price spike, driven straight into my heart.

well hahaween was redick. i went with rach & charlene to a spook trail 30 minutes nw of bham, where 10 rednecks chased us through the woods for about 20 minutes. no no touch policy, yeah. lots of grabbin. weird. awesome. then i went to some pals' and then apparently i spent about 6 hours at the plaza. i know i went around midnight. my receipt says 5:30AM, and i'm not sure if that was with the extra time change hour or not. my receipt also says $9, which is a happy price for the maximum fun. woke up to the cats cuddled up together on me. i have never seen them be close like that!

i was anticipating company this week, but it is not to be and so i feel like i will have a lot of free time, which doesn't appeal to me. i have a lot of energy and want to go running, i think. one of my bikes is at amanda's so maybe i will pick that up, take it to joel, i guess. it will be good for my blue toes to ride instead of run; makers mark bottle was accidentally dropped on my foot friday. would like to finish these 7? books i'm reading.

life without oed online access is but a half life, huskesque at best!
simplicity simple simplicitatem simulation "sim" one, interesting that "simplex" is made of two affixes.

remember web browsing before tabs? perhaps, for me, "surfing" was more deliberate. purpose with each click. now i click freely, going back through all the pages i'd opened, forgetting why i opened some.

i'm glad you don't think i'm like the people you hate. isn't that it?

really craving mashed poatoes and squash at the moment... think i will bail out on my current lunch plans. bluff park diner it is. maybe i will get banana pudding if i'm feeling wild.

what do you think the american people need to understand?

oh oh oh everything i've said before is still and then there is more to add.
how my heart is set on a steady course.
i'll never love someone that doesn't make me feel like you do. please don't let me settle for less.
dissatisfaction leads to dissatisfaction. i must take care of me.
i am half way done with the last episode of season 5 of lost. i am curious. how will it feel when there is no more lost to watch? i know season 6 starts next spring, but whenever i had down time recently, i would turn it on. maybe i should exercise.
i weigh more than i ever have, which is okay whatever, but all my pants are too tight and i notice myself instinctively placing my arm across my waistband. to hide. it's not me to be this way. it's not me to spend a year and a half in a chair. reality is not in an office. i am one of the most confident people i know, so it makes me neurotic to be considering my appearance when i'm just trying to have a good time. i guess i dont care, but it is on my mind so i guess that means i do.

the year we graduated college
the year you went sober
the last year of the rat (i'm an ox)
i'm talking about tearing it open with your teeth
i'm talking about handheld radios
i'm talking about a hat that stabs you in the back of the head when you think about me
i'm thinking about the two items i wrote for this list that are sitting on my bedside table
besides the bedside, i'm thinking about forced storage
i'm thinking about limitations and temptations and salutations and lamentations
rat races and brat braces and chat chases and dorm room posters
smelly, smelly dorm room, could be why i broke up with you.
no entry, breathy voice, double click
back to temptations
back to nominalizations
back to my dreams, ?
]i hope[to see a tumbleweed}i hope{
and how this fly knows where my face is at all times
"can't wait to eat" means i'm waiting to eat
even though i just said i can't, i am.

man, i decided my bank would be a good place to apply for a credit card because i have had an account for 6 years, but that doesn't matter apparently. i am bummed because being declined lowers your score, but i don't think it's possible to have a negative score so that is good. i was hoping to get a card with some sort of reward or cash back and no annual fee. i don't care what the apr is because i intend to pay it off every month. i wish the lady at the bank had just told me straight up that it looked grim. that's why i even bothered to go to the branch. i just wish someone out there knew anything about credit cards that i could talk to. anyone that is employed by a company i want a card from will just tell me to apply, with no regard for whether i will be approved or not. i asked ppl on facebook what type of card i should get and i literally got a response for every company. i guess i can just get a small loan or something? i am so huffy now i don't even want to deal with it.

i'm suddenly feeling fed up and withdrawn. it makes me have no reservations about moving, but i don't want to carry this coarse attitude with me to cali. i don't even want to go out for halloween. the thought of "party hopping" and having to color my hair exhausts me. i am dreading telling my "life" to all my mom's friends at her party on friday. i don't even have to go, but i feel like i should. i dont know why all my october excitement has completely waned in the last hour. i feel like i have some sort of ideals for companionship that are going unmet at the moment. everyone is annoying me, and that makes me annoying and no fun to be with, so i sit with the cat and watch tv online, no will to exercise, seething in my sullen solitude, trying to think of someone to call, but thinking the better of it. i went to new orleans this past weekend. i had so much fun on friday and saturday, but sunday i woke up ready to get home, cranky. i wanted to stay in the city forever and ride bikes on the flat terrain and meet new people and explore old neighborhoods and legally drink seventy-five cent tall boys in the car, but i couldn't. perhaps the pain of returning back to "real life" after my little vacation made me sore. it felt inconsolable. the hangover; sore muscles from walking miles, rigorous dancing, and sleeping on a crappy hostel bed; and caffeine addiction were initially to blame, but the mood is sticking. but i will use my time wisely.

thinking about freegan ideals vs veganism and vegetarianism and lacto-ovo vegetarianism.
thinking about bcp's vs recreational drugs vs holistic ideals.
thinking about where i can fit my winter coats in my apartment
thinking about your cameo in my dream last night.
thinking about my dream boy. i would like someone charming, fun, independent, and not sensitive. someone my speed.
thinking about what i'll have to leave behind.
thinking about http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cycling_in_Los_Angeles

this week, my boss, garrett, and renee got engaged. this weekend my coworker dylan is getting married. this is the 20s, i guess. people all around you, people you grew up with, people you used to sleep with, falling in love. i've fallen in love a few times, but it was never to a point of marriage. i will tell you the story of my boss' engagement b/c it is really intriguing. she is early/mid 30s and was married at some point in her past. very churchy and very blonde. friendly, naturally gorgeous. she has been going out of town probably an average of 2x a month (more during the summer) this year for weddings. it was really surprising to me that such a pretty and kind woman would be single. i felt sorry for her, packing suitcases and kenneling her sick dog over and over to watch all her friends marry their love, especially after her failed marriage. well she came in monday with a ring! i was so surprised, had no idea she was seeing someone (not that i'm particularly privy to such matters in general). apparently this fellow is a music director at a church in georgia and he had been friends with her for a year or maybe more i forget. then in august, he told her that he wanted to start dating her, but not just to date. he wanted to date her to marry her. i thought that was such a sweet sentiment. i guess it makes more sense to people that are older than me, established in their life paths. makes it easier to conceive a life together. i liked the old fashioned nature of it, the bald honesty and intentions. i don't think it's a best approach or anything, but it is charming and romantic to consider.

one of my pals got his 3rd DUI recently. i don't know what's going to happen to him. that is really awful. when the cop pulled him over, he was in front of his parents' house, where he was house sitting and going to let the dogs out. he pleaded with the cop to let him just walk in there and let the dogs out. the cop said no, so my friend, who relishes his cool dude days in high school, told the cop, "come on, i'm not like those guys that made fun of you," effectively calling the cop a nerd and was promptly indicted.

i am miffed that i took a vacation day today because we are not leaving early for new orleans at all. i could have just left work at 4pm. oh well. all 7 of us are riding down in a van. i bought some potato bread, soy cheese, and crunchy peanut butter (all natural [fuck corn syrup being in my fucking peanut butter]) so hopefully that will feed me this weekend because i need to save save save. almost bailed on the trip. i hope we can have a boys room and a girls room. the weather will be perfect all weekend. no rain, lots of sun.

i want to put blinders on and blaze through the next 2 months to LA. it consumes my thoughts. i have looked at so many maps and made my own google map of where my friends live and where all the venues and shops i want to visit are. i've read all about the type of work i hope to get and really it's all a matter of lining up ducks in a row and tying it all up here. all the things i want to purge and complete. the average high in august is 85 degrees and 68 degrees in january.

i dated one boy all last winter. now it's cold again and it reminds me of him. the cold air in my lungs, thinking about the hotel and the carefree and the curiousness. i used to have a depleted chapstick tube that would send me flying back in time butterfly effect style to an ex's apartment and the sun through the blinds and how much i loved him, it was all there upon me with one whiff. i have had one longstanding sweetheart the past 12 months with whom i do not have such olfactory blasts, but moved me to tenderness nonetheless. i am struck by the amount of strife that surrounds his seemingly breezy life, and i remain what i am to him, to serve as a fixed point available at any time. last night i fell in love with someone that doesn't exist. they are not even an idea, but a check list and i saw him and i know he will look different in real life, but i know where to find him and i am already familiar with our rapport. in potentially related affairs, alan palomo is my dream baby rock god. oof, those jeans! i think his whole band is gorgeous and i wish they all lived here so we could flirt. i'm feeling the power of freedom and i need to whip my butt into gear! i have proof all around me, everything is proving itself. dreams are laid OUT! i will choose.

never go to bed without a piece of raw meat

DL here: http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?oyytly2mj0z